


Where the Heart Is

by cjmarlowe



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Challenge fic, Child in Peril, Kidfic, M/M, single dad, you can come home again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-04
Updated: 2009-09-04
Packaged: 2020-09-02 13:04:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20276362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmarlowe/pseuds/cjmarlowe
Summary: Chicago cop Jensen Ackles returns to his Oklahoma hometown after the death of his father, with his young son in tow and a chip on his shoulder about all things love. But his work isn't so easily left behind, and love isn't so easily dismissed when Jared Padalecki comes back into his life.





	Where the Heart Is

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [spn_meanttobe](https://spn-meanttobe.livejournal.com/) 2009.
> 
> _WIFE WANTED -- Love not required or even desired. Or so Chicago cop Jimmy Corona thought when he returned to his Oklahoma hometown and ran smack into Kara Brand. All Jimmy wanted was to find a mother for his son, someone to keep little Tyler safe while he took down his latest perp. Instead, he found that the shy, awkward Kara he'd known from high school had blossomed into a genuine beauty with a big heart and courage to spare -- qualities he learned to value when danger followed him to town and only Kara stood between his son and certain death. Suddenly love didn't seem like such a scary prospect after all._
> 
> Okay, maybe the story didn't go _quite_ like that....

Wheeler didn't look all that different from the day Jensen had last seen it—in the rear-view mirror of his pickup truck as he headed north on the I-35, destined for anywhere but here. The same store fronts decorated the main street, the same old ladies sat on the bench outside the laundromat, the same kids played in the park down the street from the house he grew up in.

Jensen hadn't missed any of it in all the years he was gone. But at the same time, he still watched the children in the park a little wistfully out the driver's side window before fishing the house keys out of the glove box and getting out of the car.

Then he leaned back in, resting his arm on the roof of the car, and said, "You coming?" to the boy in the back seat. He nodded his head and struggled with the seatbelt, but before Jensen could go around to give him a hand he got it unbuckled and even managed the car door by himself. 

"Is this your house?" Tyler asked him, after pushing the car door closed with both hands.

"It used to be," said Jensen, reaching for Tyler's hand. This neighborhood was safe, Jensen didn't have to spend all his time looking over his shoulder for his own safety and his son's, but old habits died hard. "Come on, let's go inside and see what kind of mess he left for us."

The real mess, Jensen figured, wasn't going to be in what they found inside the house, but in the legal and financial tangles that his father had inevitably left behind. The worst they were likely to find inside were empty bottles, smoke-stained furniture, and cobwebs.

Jensen hadn't spoken to his father since the day he left town, hadn't invited him to the wedding, had never introduced him to his grandson, so it shouldn't have been a shock when the news reached him that his father's heart had finally given out. Really, it was a long time coming.

Tyler jumped up onto each step with both feet then stood on his tiptoes to try to reach the metal mailbox as Jensen jammed the key in the lock. It stuck at first, and he muttered a few choice words under his breath until it finally gave and let them inside.

The place smelled of his father, whiskey and stale cigarette smoke and dust. Even Tyler wrinkled his nose as they stepped inside and Jensen groped for the light switch by the front door, the motion as reflexive as it had been ten years ago. He flipped the switch but nothing happened, and with another soft curse he hoped for a burnt-out bulb and not a power situation he'd have to straighten out before he could make the place habitable for his son.

"Don't touch anything," he said, though that was a tall order for a four-year-old even at the best of times. "There might be bugs."

"Really?" said Tyler. Okay, maybe that wasn't the right choice to discourage him from touching anything.

"The scary kind," he clarified. "They'll take your head off."

Tyler's eyes widened and he clutched Jensen's hand, and Jensen didn't feel even a little bit guilty about the lie. Hell, in here it was possible there _were_ bugs that could do some serious damage.

"Are we going to live here now?"

"Not today," said Jensen, pulling a picture off the mantle and dusting it with the pad of his thumb. Apparently his father still wanted visitors to think they'd all been one happy family. He'd never figured out that everyone already knew otherwise. "I need to get a cleaning service in here first."

Maybe more than a cleaning service, but that would do for a start. As he and Tyler walked from room to room Jensen didn't see any necessary repairs he didn't feel like he could tackle himself. There were no working lights anywhere, though, so a likely large and outstanding power bill was on the agenda first thing in the morning.

"Which one was your room?" Tyler asked him as they hit the upstairs hallway. Jensen nodded at the second door on the left, which was open just a crack. The dusty window at the end of the hall let in enough light to see by, but the rest of the doors were closed. Jensen didn't know if that was how his father had lived, or if someone had come through to shut the place up after it happened.

Tyler let go of his hand and, knowing where he was headed, Jensen was content to trail along behind. As Tyler pushed the door open Jensen could see the room was pretty much exactly how he'd left it, just like the town.

"You didn't have very many toys," he said, a four-year-old's first priority.

"I was eighteen when I left," he said. "When you're eighteen, you don't have a lot of toys anymore."

"I'm going to have toys when I'm eighteen," Tyler declared. "I'm going to have lots and lots of toys. I'm going to keep _all_ of them, and people will keep giving me _more_."

"Yeah, well, you're gonna have to start taking better care of them, then," said Jensen. Even here in his old room—maybe especially here—he didn't want to linger. "Come on, kiddo, we've got the rest of the house to go through, and then I have some phone calls to make."

"And _then_ can we get ice cream?" said Tyler. "You _promised_."

A promise made after eight hours on the road to keep a pre-schooler quiet was apparently one he was going to be held to.

"Dinner first," said Jensen. "Then ice cream. Promise. But first, Daddy's got work to do."

He hated saying that, and he hated that every time he said it, it was the truth.

:::

"This place sure brings back memories, doesn't it?" said Chris, ready with a sweaty bottle of beer to push into Jensen's hand as soon as he stepped through the doorway of Jensen's hopefully-very-temporary hotel room. The beer hadn't been a stipulation when he'd called his old friend up and told him where he was staying, but it helped.

"Shhh," said Jensen, nodding at the further of the two beds in the room where Tyler had already fallen asleep watching television. "If he wakes up, you're on bedtime story duty."

The old hotel wouldn't have been Jensen's first choice when it came to places to stay in Wheeler, but all he needed were a pair of beds and a fridge for a couple of nights, and the place was nearby, clean, and fit the bill. The fact that he'd had occasion to use the place a couple of times back in high school wasn't exactly a selling point, but he didn't hold it against it either.

"Wow," said Chris, closing and chaining the door a little more quietly behind himself. "He got big. I guess he was only two last time I saw him, just turned. They sure do grow."

"Could've seen him more often if you'd come up to Chicago," said Jensen, even knowing what Chris's counter would be.

"Or you could've come down here every once in a while," said Chris, with little conviction. They both knew why Jensen never came. "So how long are you here for, then? A few days? Maybe a week?"

Jensen sighed and twisted his beer in his hands, nodding at the pair of chairs in the corner, away from Tyler's side of the room. "Six months, more or less," he said. "I took a leave of absence from the force."

"Whoa," said Chris, pushing his hat up to get a better look at Jensen. "You kidding me, J? Six months?"

"I've got a lot of things to sort out," he said, maybe a little more sharply than he meant to. 

Chris nodded and looked a little chagrined. "I'm sorry about your dad," he said. "I'm not sure if I said."

"Yeah," said Jensen, and struggled for a moment to figure out how to put his complicated feelings about the whole situation into words until he realized that Chris had known him since he was about seven years old. He didn't need to say anything; Chris would just get it. "Anyway, I sure didn't come for the company. I think you're the only person I've got left in this town, not that I had a lot to begin with."

"Maybe more than you think," said Chris, but they'd had this argument before and Jensen always won. Either that or he was just too stubborn and Chris couldn't be bothered, a trait he used to his advantage on the force. "But six months? That's a big commitment."

"Just needed to get out of Chicago for a while," he said. "I'm just coming off a rough case and the thing with Joanna...well, you know how divorce is."

"You say that like I ever marry 'em," said Chris, draining half his beer in one long swallow. "Sounded pretty nasty, not that we had a lot of heart to hearts about it."

"I got Tyler, that's all I cared about," said Jensen, "but I didn't know what it was going to be like, between work and trying to look after him. I've gone through three nannies and that just isn't working out for us."

"Here's a tip: quit firing the nannies," said Chris, "unless they're ripping you off or something. They're probably the best you're going to get."

"I don't fire them, they quit."

Chris glanced over at Tyler and raised an eyebrow. "Your kid turn into a hellion when I wasn't looking?" he said. "Takes after Joanna more than you?"

Jensen snorted. "No, it's not that," he said. "Tyler's a regular four-year-old. It's just my job, you know? The hours I keep, mostly. Couple of times I've gotten suspicious calls to the house. Informants, probably, but they're pretty easily spooked. I can't even blame the nannies, you know? I probably wouldn't want the job if I were them. There are much easier ways to make a living."

"What you need's a little lady at home," said Chris.

Jensen snorted even louder at that. "Thanks for reminding me of one of the many reasons I was so anxious to leave this town," he said. "Chauvinism is alive and well in Wheeler."

"All right, all right," said Chris. "Little man at home, then? Whichever, you know I don't care about that."

"You also know that's not what I meant," said Jensen, not anxious to go down that road either. "I've given up on relationships anyway. They're just not something that's ever going to work out for me. And that's fine, I've got Tyler. That's all the love I need in my life."

"Hey, who said anything about love?" said Chris. "You need to think of it like a business arrangement. You provide a home and a stable income, and they take care of that home and the kid. It doesn't have to be the Cleaver family. A lot of people would be into that."

"Yeah? Name one," said Jensen, though if he was being honest, the idea wasn't a terrible one. He didn't want another Joanna in his life, not ever, but a sort of a business partner, with expectations set out right up front...that was an arrangement he might be able to live with.

"Well, I don't know off the top of my head," said Chris, "but if I found someone, would you take her call?"

Jensen glanced at Tyler, then looked back at Chris and shrugged. "I'd give it some thought," he admitted. "It's not the worst idea you've ever come up with."

"No, the worst idea I ever came up with involved Cuervo, Goldschläger, my dad's four-by-four and a mud hole," said Chris. "It's going to be hard to top that one in this lifetime."

"Ain't that the truth," said Jensen, and lifted his beer to his lips.

So far Wheeler hadn't been as bad as Jensen had been fearing, but it was hard to tell anything after just a day. Time would tell whether Jensen would ever feel comfortable here, or whether he would leave town again in a few months with the same haste as the first time.

:::

A dozen phone calls, a few not insubstantial checks, and two full days later, Jensen felt as ready as he'd ever be to move himself and his son back into his childhood home. Which was good, because unlike the hotel, at least the house had a yard. An empty yard, with barely more than a few tufts of grass on the ground, but a yard all the same. He was going to need to do some landscaping eventually if he wanted the place to sell, but it was low on his list of priorities. For the moment it was a place for Tyler to run around in, and that was all he needed it to be.

Now that he'd replaced all the linens in the house, hired a cleaning service to take care of the smell and the mess and scrubbed his hands raw in a few of the rooms himself, the place wasn't exactly inviting, but it was a little less oppressive.

"Is this my room now?" said Tyler, running into the bedroom that had once been Jensen's and dragging his bag along behind him. Jensen had been planning to put him in the old guest room at the end of the hall, had even put most of his things in there already, but if Tyler was this eager to be in Jensen's old room then maybe Jensen could let him. Maybe it was time to build some fresh memories in that room, and not cling to the memories of his own adolescence.

"Sure, if you want," he said, turning on the light so they could really see it this time. "Do you want to change anything in here, then?"

Tyler put his little hands on his hips and turned around in a circle. "It needs stuff," he said finally. Well, that was succinct and accurate. "On the walls, it needs more stuff."

"How about if we paint it first?" said Jensen. The whole place needed fresh paint anyway, so here was as good a place to start as any. "I'll even let you pick the color."

"Blue!" said Tyler unsurprisingly, and Jensen guessed they had a task for the afternoon now. A trip to the hardware store was on the agenda anyway, once he prioritized all the repairs he needed to do.

"All right, blue it is," he said, glancing around the room looking for any repairs he might get done before his son got too permanently settled to pry out. "So what do you think? Do you think it'll be okay if we stay here for a little while?"

Tyler didn't look hesitant to nod his head, but he did look up at Jensen curiously. "Does that mean I won't see Mrs. Ingram and Cissy anymore?"

"Of course not," said Jensen, but privately he had to admit that a lot could change in six months. By the time they got back to Chicago Tyler's old babysitter might not even be available anymore. "It might be a little while, though."

"That's okay," said Tyler. "She bites."

Jensen grinned and shook his head. "I'll keep that in mind," he said. "And hey, you'll probably make new friends here. I bet there are lots of kids around."

It wasn't the best plan, if he was going to be taking Tyler away from this town too, relocating him back to Chicago when he felt like he was ready to go back, but neither was he going to deprive his son of social contact for the next six months.

"How come I never met Grandpa?" Tyler asked him. Jensen was sure it wasn't out of the blue in Tyler's head, but it caught him off guard.

"He was very old," said Jensen, "and he wasn't able to visit us in Chicago."

"But we could have come here, right?" said Tyler. "Cissy says it's weird, that I didn't see my grandpa. She said she saw hers all the time."

"Well, I guess Cissy's family is a little different," said Jensen. "There are all kinds of different families. We've talked about this before."

"I know," said Tyler. "Some families have a mom and a dad and some families just have a dad and some have two dads or two moms. But that doesn't tell me about _Grandpa_."

"Sometimes the people you think are your family aren't really," Jensen said finally, because there were some things he just didn't want to have to explain to a four-year-old. A four-year-old who would never even have to face the man Jensen had grown up with. "Sometimes it's complicated."

"I don't know what that means."

"Well, good," said Jensen. "You don't need to know what that means."

Tyler didn't look satisfied with that answer, but apparently setting up his new room was more interesting than trying to get an answer because he started tugging open his bag to get things out. He did know what complicated was, after everything they'd been through with his mother, but with any luck he was young enough that in time he would remember only that he had two parents who loved him very much.

"I'm going to go downstairs," Jensen said, after watching him for a few moments. "Come find me if you need any help, all right? Don't just yell down the stairs."

"Okay," he said, and though Jensen still expected a holler instead of a tug at his shirttails if Tyler needed anything, he left him alone to get himself sorted out, and used the time to do the same for himself.

:::

It was apparent within about two more days that Tyler was _not_ going to be content to spend his summer playing in the dusty back yard while Jensen put all his energy into the house. The whole thing was starting to feel uncomfortably like it had been back in Chicago, just Jensen and Tyler and Tyler needing something more than a father who couldn't always be there.

"All right," he said, after macaroni and cheese and a large glass of milk. "What do you say we get out of here this afternoon?"

"Are we getting more toys?"

"Do you ever think about anything other than more toys?" said Jensen as he put the dishes in the sink.

"Ummmm," said Tyler, thinking about this for a long time. "Sometimes I think about dogs. And trucks."

"Dogs and trucks, huh?" said Jensen. "How about we go to the park to start with?"

"Will there be dogs there?"

Jensen was glad Tyler couldn't see him roll his eyes. "Yes, there will probably be dogs there," he said. "Odds are pretty good, I'd say. Which doesn't mean you're allowed to go and pet strange dogs, you know the rules."

"But if they come up to me it's okay."

"That's not a rule," said Jensen. "No strange dogs. You can look but don't touch, are we clear?"

"You always have _rules_," pouted Tyler. 

"Yeah, well, you'll thank me when you don't fall down an abandoned well," said Jensen as he tracked down Tyler's shoes and tied them on his feet good and tight. Oh, he was giving Jensen such a put-upon look, but an afternoon in the park would wipe that off his face, and what good was all this time off if Jensen couldn't spend some of it with his son.

There was a new skate park off to one side of the park up the street, the sound of wheels on concrete hills echoing back to them as they walked the path, but the duck pond was quiet and grassy and pretty much how Jensen remembered it. And there were definitely dogs about, often with owners who slowed down to give Jensen and his son a good once-over.

"Can I have a skateboard?" Tyler asked him. Jensen should've seen that one coming. 

"Not till you start school," he said. "You're not big enough yet."

"But Daaaaaaaad!" he said, his whole body flopping over like he'd been done a grave injustice.

"But Tyyyyyyyyyler," he countered. "You'll break your head and then you'll be stuck in bed for a year."

"A year?"

"A whole year," said Jensen solemnly. "And you won't be able to play at all."

"How about a dog?"

"How about we stop at the store tomorrow and start this massive toy collection you keep talking about?"

"I _guess_ that would be okay," said Tyler, and was quickly distracted by a little dog that came bouncing up the hill towards him.

"I'm sorry," said its owner, a lean brunette who looked Jensen over with definite interest. "She just adores children so much."

"It's a good thing she's not big enough to bowl them over," said Jensen, and watched with satisfaction as Tyler leaned over to look at him—okay, that part wasn't specifically forbidden, but it still wasn't great—but didn't touch the dog, just as his father had instructed him.

"Oh, she would never," she assured him, then offered her hand. "I'm Amy."

"Jensen," he introduced himself. "And this is Tyler."

It was difficult to extract himself from the conversation after that, especially after granting permission for Tyler to run with the dog—Sheba—for a while, but Jensen wished he could after about five minutes. She was nice enough, but she was obviously interested in him as more than someone she would just run into in the park from time to time.

The attention was nice, sure, but what she was after wasn't something Jensen had to give anymore.

:::

When Tyler was in bed—and _sleeping_; Jensen made sure to check—he sat down on the couch and propped his feet up on the scarred coffee table and finally made a call back to Chicago.

"You know that the point of a leave of absence is that you're supposed to be absent, right?"

It was good to hear Jeff's voice, but Jensen gritted his teeth anyway. "You know I didn't take it as a vacation," he said. "And you know if you don't give me what I'm looking for, I have plenty of people who will."

He could hear Jeff's soft grunt at the other end of the line. "How's Tyler?"

"Oh, Tyler," said Jensen. "Tyler likes the place already." He knew that wasn't what Jeff was asking, though, not entirely. "I feel better with him here. I'm sleeping better at night."

"Good," said Jeff. "You were getting a little ragged, and don't even try to deny it." Jensen didn't. He knew who he was talking to. "Well, I hope you didn't get your hopes up, because I haven't got anything to tell you yet."

"Yeah, well, no news is good news."

"We haven't even got a preliminary trial date yet, but you know better than anyone the case is pretty damn airtight."

"No case is without its loose ends," said Jensen, but if he hadn't been pretty confident in the case against Gabe T, he probably wouldn't have been confident enough to leave town for long, death in the family or not. He'd been working it for months before bringing the guy down; he knew it backwards and forwards by now. "Anything else I should know about?"

"If there was, I'd be calling you and not the other way around," said Jeff. "Misha and I are just chasing down the last of the witnesses to make sure all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted. Thanks for leaving us with that, by the way. Much appreciated."

"Hey, any time," said Jensen. "How's Mary Louise."

"Same as always," said Jeff. "Overflowing with righteous fury and ready to tear the head off any defense attorney who stands in her way. You want me to say hi?"

"I always feel better saying hi from a distance," said Jensen. "Let me know when we get that trial date, all right? I'll sleep better."

"You're going to be called as a witness, so you'll probably know as soon as I do. Everything else working out on your end?"

"Besides the fact that my father was a deadbeat alcoholic who left behind a huge tangle of financial and legal issues to sort through?" said Jensen. "Actually, yeah. Things are pretty okay here so far."

"They say you can never go home again," said Jeff, "but I think they're just stubborn asses who never made the effort. Relax. Try to enjoy your time off. And don't call me every night."

"I'll try to do at least one of those, but no promises which one," said Jensen. "Get back to your wife and her righteous fury, Jeff. I'll talk to you in a few days."

"Well, it's better than daily," said Jeff. "Night, Jensen."

"Night," he said and ended the call, tossing the phone on the couch next to him and closing his eyes.

Yes, he'd come to Wheeler to deal with his father's estate, but more than that he'd come back to Wheeler to get Tyler away from Chicago for a while. To get _himself_ away from Chicago. The Gabe T case had been a rough one, hundreds of man-hours and at least one police-related shooting, but they'd gotten him in the end.

It wasn't as much of a comfort as it should have been, because for every dealer they got off the streets, two more popped up in his place. It just never ended, and Jensen loved being a cop, he was _good_ at it, but it was exhausting. It was exhausting for _Tyler_.

And Jensen would put himself through a lot for the sake of his vocation, but not his son. Not Tyler. Especially not now that Jensen's ex-wife was out of the country and he had sole custody of his son.

He didn't need a full six months to get his father's things sorted out, but maybe he needed six months to get his own shit together.

:::

"All right, kid," said Jensen, resting his hand atop his son's head, fingers threaded through his sandy hair as he read the schedule and notices on the bulletin board. "Let's see what we can do to keep you out of trouble."

The Wheeler Recreational Center, too, was much like Jensen remembered it. They'd given it a fresh coat of paint, and finally replaced the cracked concrete steps out front, but everything was laid out exactly the way he remembered it.

Tyler rocked back on the balls of his feet. "Can I play T-ball? Pleeeeeease, Dad? I saw them in the field."

"We'll see," sad Jensen, scanning the board for programs that hadn't already started, or that he thought he might be able to slip Tyler into a week or so late.

"Jensen? Jensen Ackles?"

Jensen turned around, unsurprised to have been identified in a place he'd spent a lot of time once, but he couldn't place the face right away. The guy was a tree, with big feet and floppy hair and a smile so wide it was practically demanding a smile in return.

"That's me...," he said, struggling for a name.

"Jared," he supplied. "Jared Padalecki. You probably don't remember me."

"Jared?" said Jensen, staring at him. "Are you _sure_?" He held a hand around chest height, the height Jared Padalecki had been the last time Jensen had seen him.

Jared just laughed and shook his head. "It's been a while, huh?" he said. "Oh, hey, I heard about your dad. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, thanks," said Jensen, biting back the knee-jerk response of 'I'm not.' "So wow. Jared Padalecki. How've you been, man? What've you been up to?"

"Oh, you know," said Jared with a shrug. "Went off to college, came back. I actually work here now." He gestured vaguely behind himself, but at what specifically Jensen could only guess. "Assistant recreational director." He shrugged like he knew it wasn't doctor or lawyer or even cop, but he looked pretty happy with his lot in life.

"Well, Mr. Recreational Director," said Jensen, "maybe you can give us a hand here. Tyler needs something to keep him occupied this summer, and I need something to keep him out from underfoot, even if it's only half days."

"Daaaaaaad," said Tyler, crossing his little arms over his chest in what was actually a fair imitation of his father.

"Hey Tyler," said Jared, squatting down to at least be closer to his height. "It's awesome that you're here this summer. We've got some great stuff going on. What do you like to do?"

"T-ball!" said Tyler immediately, even though he'd only played once in his whole life.

"Well, we've definitely got that," said Jared. "Actually, we've got a summer day program here. T-ball and swimming lessons and soccer and all kinds of things. You think that sounds like fun?"

"Yeah!" said Tyler, then both of them looked up at Jensen.

"And what does your dad think?"

"God, yes please," said Jensen. "Just tell me where to sign, and how soon we can get him going."

"Monday at the earliest," said Jared. "It's on a rolling schedule but we only place new kids in on a weekly basis. You guys think you can wait that long?"

"If I _have_ to," said Tyler, kicking at the floor. Jensen rested a hand on his head again to get him to stop.

"I'm renovating the old house," explained Jensen, "and I think Tyler here's getting bored out of his tree."

"There's no _toys_," said Tyler, like that was the greatest crime against his childhood ever.

Jared just laughed as he stood up again. "Well, we've got toys here," he said, "among other things. Why don't you guys come to my office and I can give you some more information, Jensen."

"Yeah, thanks," said Jensen, turning Tyler's head in the right direction. "I think I've probably got all the information you'll need." Emergency contact, medical details, Jensen knew the drill.

"So is Tyler's mom here with you?" said Jared, and even though it was a perfectly ordinary and casual question, Jensen couldn’t help feeling it like a soft blow to his gut.

"We aren't together," he said shortly, and hoped that all of the other answers—that Tyler was with _him_, that she wasn't in the picture—were implied. 

"I'm sorry," said Jared, but this one was obviously only polite unlike his regret over Jensen's father, someone Jared had actually known. "You know, we should really catch up. I thought about you sometimes, after you graduated."

"You mean this whole town didn't collectively try to forget about me the moment I left?"

"Are you kidding?" said Jared. "I think you were my idol when I was in junior high. That doesn't make you feel weird, does it?"

"It's a little weird," said Jensen, but it made him laugh, too, and remember some of the good things. "And then you hit your growth spurt and everyone started looking up to _you_, am I right?"

"Maybe," said Jared, but he was giving Jensen a little smile, like he had a secret that nobody knew.

"Well hey, you know where the house is, you should come by and have a beer some time," said Jensen. "I'd probably welcome the break from shingling or planting or arguing with lawyers or whatever else I'm going to find that needs doing. Plumbing. Maybe electrical."

"Yeah, I'll do that," said Jared, and Jensen actually believed that he would. "All right, in here and excuse the mess. Let's get you two all set to go."

:::

Ms. Smith from up the street remembered Jensen well, it turned out, and when he asked if she could watch Tyler for him, the same way she'd watched _him_ after school once upon a time, she didn't hesitate to say yes. Though she did insist that her Ms. Smith days were over now that he was a grown man, and he ought to call her Sam.

"Oh, he looks just like you did at his age," she said, putting a bright smile on Tyler's face, and Jensen felt comfortable enough to leave him there when he went out to meet...Nicki. He had to look up her name as he left Sam's place, and immediately felt bad about it, but it wasn't like he'd even heard of her before Chris gave her his number.

"So you're a nurse?" he said after drinks were delivered to the table.

"An emergency room nurse," she said, licking her finger and stealing some of the sugar off the rim of her glass with a playful smile, "but I'm really looking into getting into home care. Less stress, more stable hours. It means moving somewhere with more opportunities, though. Chris said you're from Chicago?"

At least Chris had vetted her well, and there was nothing at all wrong with Nicki. She was cute and sweet and had a life plan that complemented Jensen's own. And yet he couldn't imagine spending his with her.

"Raised in Wheeler, but left just as soon as I got out of high school," he said unapologetically. "Guess I was looking for big city life too."

"And you have a little boy? Is that right?"

"Tyler," said Jensen, quickly, after a sip of his beer. "Best thing that came out of my marriage. He'll be five in December."

He watched for her reaction but could read nothing in it but the same pleasant, warm smile she'd been giving him since they'd greeted one another with a handshake and an introduction outside the restaurant.

"Well, tell me about you," he said, but even this early in the date—if he could even call it a date; more like an interview—he felt like it was over before it had really begun.

:::

"Mr. Jared says that girls can be just as good as boys at sports, but Jenny Gabler still can't throw a ball," said Tyler as Jensen pried up some baseboard molding.

"Mr. Jared says that, does he?" he said, glancing over to make sure Tyler hadn't pulled his dust mask off again. "Well, he's absolutely right. I bet Jenny'll be kicking your butt at ball before you know it."

"Only if her _dolls_ can play too," said Tyler, but since he was playing with his new action figure, Jensen figured he didn't have much room to talk. "She carries them _every_where."

"You carry your frog everywhere, don't you?" said Jensen, checking for mold against the hidden parts of the wall.

"That's _different_," said Tyler. "My frog doesn't wear dresses."

If the guys at the station could hear him now they'd probably be giving him shit about it, but they _weren't_ here, and—other than a select few—they weren't people Jensen had ever spent much time with outside of work anyway. Beer buddies, sure, but not close family friends.

"I don't think that's much of a difference at all," he said, sliding along the floor to then next piece to be pried away.

"That's what Mr. Jared says too," said Tyler.

"Mr. J— Padalecki says that frogs can wear dresses?"

"Noooooo," said Tyler, reaching to touch the crowbar until Jensen gave him a stern look and shook his head. "He says that girls can play with frogs and boys can play with dolls. But she _doesn't_, she hates frogs, even though he's only rubber. She called him names."

That, Jensen figured, was probably the actual problem here.

"She's probably just jealous," he said, going for an old standby, and Tyler seemed satisfied with that. "So you like Mr. Padalecki, huh?"

Jared had stopped by for the promised beer after work on Thursday, and then said he'd stop by again this week as well as come over for the game on Sunday. Jensen didn't have a lot of friends, and he especially didn't have a lot of friends in Wheeler, so it was nice to have someone just to shoot the shit with once in a while.

"Mr. _Jared_," Tyler corrected him. "Everyone calls him Mr. Jared, even the grown-ups." Instead of reaching for the tools again, he started running his matchbox racecar along the scratched wooden floorboards. "We only see him half the day. He says he's stuck in his office in the morning. Do you think he's being punished for something?"

"Not unless his entire life is a punishment," said Jensen, and shook his head when Tyler looked confused. "Sometimes grown-ups have to do stuff they don't like so that they can have fun the rest of the time."

"That's just like being a kid," said Tyler, and you know, maybe he wasn't so far off the mark with that. "Can we have a dog? Mr. Jared has dogs."

"I'm sure he does," said Jensen. "Maybe you should ask him about that, because dogs are a lot of work. You have to feed them and walk them and look after them, and you can't ever forget. Even when you find something more fun to do."

"What could be more fun than a _dog_?"

Jensen started to tick things off on his fingers. "Baseball, ice cream, reading, bicycles, racecars—"

"Can I have a racecar?"

"Right. So we'll talk about that dog later, then," said Jensen, and got back to work before he could give Tyler any other bright ideas.

:::

A couple hours after Jensen arrived home with Tyler in tow, just after he finished loading the new dishwasher and cleaning off the table, Jared popped his head in the open front door and called out a, "Hello? Anyone home?"

"Back here," said Jensen, wringing out the cloth as Jared found his way into the eat-in kitchen.

"I brought beer," he said, holding up a six-pack hopefully. "My date cancelled on me tonight, so I figured I'd pop by and see how you guys were settling in."

"Things are coming together," said Jensen, though it was sort of hard to tell. Even though the kitchen was functional, he'd removed all the old tile from the walls, and the carpet in the hallway had been ripped up leaving rough, uncleaned floorboards beneath. "Still a lot to do in here."

"Wishing you were back in Chicago doing the easy job of putting away criminals?" said Jared with a light-hearted smile.

"Some days...," said Jensen with a weary look at the peeling, faded wallpaper still hanging in the kitchen, his next project. "Here, let me put that in the fridge. Tyler's up in his room, probably counting his toys."

"That kid's going to run an empire one of these days," said Jared, holding back two bottles while Jensen put the rest away. "I expect to see signs of a black market on the playground any day now."

"Gets that from his mother," said Jensen, and hoped his son would use his powers only for good. "Come on through to the back porch, it's free of debris and it's a nice night. Not too hot."

There was even a breeze as they sat there, catching up with the college years, with their jobs. Jensen carefully avoided the subject of relationships, and thankfully Jared followed his lead. About halfway through the evening Jensen headed upstairs to tuck Tyler in, but even that didn't stop the flow of conversation. He told stories of his Chicago precinct, what stories were suitable to tell, and Jared told him about the kids.

"We've got this girl in the program, Sarah, who has two moms at home," he said, after a particularly complicated story about two boys, a snake, and the fire department, "and she's not shy about telling people, so after snack time today we ended up sitting in a sharing circle and talking about families."

"Instead of T-ball?" said Jensen, turning away from him, ostensibly to reach for his beer though he lingered over it before turning back.

"God no," said Jared. "I think the children would revolt. But we do like to encourage them to talk at snack time, and since everyone seemed to be really curious we decided we didn't want to discourage that. Open their minds when they're young, you know?"

"So it's not a big deal, Sarah's two moms?"

"Depends on who you ask, I guess," said Jared. "It's still Wheeler, you know? It's not like it's suddenly San Francisco. But we don't encourage discrimination in our day program. We've got all kinds of kids, from all kinds of families, and we stand by that policy."

"I like that policy," said Jensen. "It's not much like the Wheeler I used to know."

"Well, it's been a few years," said Jared. "I guess some things change. Slowly. Fewer nasty rumors behind people's backs and more silent tolerance, but it's a start." He took a long sip of his own beer, and seemed to be considering something. "It's funny how there used to be rumors about you, of all people. Big baseball star, cop-to-be. But I guess...that's probably not that funny to you."

Jensen couldn't tell if he was fishing or just clumsily bringing up some not-so-great old times, but either way he wasn't the Jensen who'd fled Wheeler the first moment he was able and Jared wasn't the kind of person he'd been running from.

"They were never just rumors," he said bluntly, "if that's what you were trying to ask."

"I wasn't," said Jared, suddenly serious. "I mean...if I was going to ask, I would've asked. So you're...?"

"Flexible," said Jensen with a wry twist of his lips. It wasn't the secret it had once been, but he definitely still didn't say it to everyone, and he was never going to forget the kinds of reactions he'd gotten to that in the past. Then he took another sip of his beer and just waited.

"Huh," said Jared finally. "Hey, did you catch the game last night?"

"Nah, I turned if off in disgust about halfway through," said Jensen, resting one ankle on the opposite knee and relaxing minutely. "Probably for the best, since I hear they didn't rally and ended up getting smoked."

After that it was just sports talk until Jared looked at his watch and declared he needed to get going it he wanted to make it to work on time the next day. 

"So I'm not entirely clear," said Jared, pausing in the doorway on his way. "Are you just here for the summer, or moving back here now, or...?"

"Just a temporary relocation," said Jensen, picking up an empty bottle off the coffee table and fussing with it as he saw Jared off at the door. "It's...complicated."

"Which is your way of saying 'quit asking, I'll tell you when I'm ready?'" said Jared with an easy grin. "Okay, I can live with that."

"Too complicated to want to get into tonight, anyway," said Jensen. "Are we still on for Sunday?"

"Of course," said Jared. "Why wouldn't we be?" Jensen just shrugged, and didn't bring up the conversation from earlier if Jared wasn't going to. Jared caught on pretty quickly, though. "Oh shit no, are you kidding me? I don't...seriously? I don't care. I thought you figured out I didn't care."

"I don't take that kind of thing for granted, especially around here," said Jensen. "Okay then, next Sunday."

"Except I'll probably see you every day the rest of this week when you drop Tyler off," Jared reminded him. "But sure, Sunday. Your turn to supply the beer."

He waved as he bounded down the stairs, and didn't wait for Jensen to say anything else. Which was good, because Jensen might've said something stupid and thankful and he thought he was beyond needing to thank people for just being decent human beings.

He picked up the rest of the trash they'd left on the back porch and checked on Tyler, still sleeping soundly under his new Transformers bedspread, and started to think that maybe Wheeler wasn't the Devil Town he remembered. Or at least, maybe it wasn't _just_ that.

:::

"Do you see it?" said Katherine, gazing up at the sky. Jensen gazed up with her, and had no idea what she was looking at. "It's like...the universe is huge. It's so big we can't even imagine how big it is. And here you and I are, sitting together under the stars. What are the chances of that?"

Jensen guessed she wasn't looking for him to count up the number of available women in the greater Wheeler area and subtract the ones he'd already dated.

"Pretty low, I guess?"

"The odds of us meeting out of any of the five billion people in the world," she said. "The odds of us even existing at all, from the billions and billions of people who might have existed. It's, like...mind-blowing."

"So you want some more pasta?" he asked her. The picnic had seemed like a great idea at the time. But then, so many things did.

"Yeah, I'm starving," she said, and took the container right of his hands.

Which was fine, because Jensen wasn't feeling all that hungry anymore anyway.

:::

His special order had come in at the hardware store so Jensen kicked off early one afternoon, picked it up and then headed to the rec center ahead of schedule, lingering on the sidelines as the kids played some kind of game involving kicking a ball around that was almost but not entirely unlike soccer.

"Hey," said Jared, bounding over when he saw him. One of the actual program workers, Alona, had the kids' entire attention, so even Tyler didn't notice when Jared left the game. "Something up?"

"No, no, just a little early today," he said. "He looks like he's having a good time."

"He's having a great time," said Jared, looking back at the game. "He's really fitting in here. Have you given any thought to what he's going to do come fall?"

"Not really," admitted Jensen. "Christ, that's really creeping up on us, isn't it?"

"I figured," said Jared. "We've got a good pre-school program here at the rec center now, just so you know. Many of our full-time and even our temporary staff have their ECE designation. I can get you information if you want. Or you can talk to the school, of course. He misses the cutoff birthdate for kindergarten, but the school's pre-school program is good."

"I'm just not sure how long we're really going to be here," said Jensen. "We've still got a home in Chicago, but I can't just have him doing nothing this fall."

"You can enroll him our pre-school on a term-by-term basis if that's what you need," Jared told him. "Let me get you the info, just so you can, you know, think on it. Deadlines are going to come up on you faster than you think."

"Don't they always?" said Jensen, glancing towards Tyler again. He really did look happy here. Happy and healthy and more independent than Jensen had seen him in a while.

"There was this case," he went on after a few moments. "In Chicago, before I left. The divorce was hard enough, not having Joanna around anymore to look after him, but the case took so much of my time. He deserves better than that."

"Sometimes, when you've got kids, you've got to make the hard choices," said Jared. "But I guess suggesting you consider desk duty isn't going to go over well."

"I'm a little too young and able-bodied to be thinking about that just yet," said Jensen. "It scares him, though. My job scares him, and without someone else around the house all the time he hears way too much about it."

"Maybe you need someone else around the house, then," said Jared. "At the very least, anyway. I can't imagine raising a kid by yourself and being a big city cop are two things that go together very easily."

"Somehow some people manage it," said Jensen. But those people usually had a good support network, and Jensen only had himself. "I'm working on that anyway. The having someone around the house part."

"Oh yeah?" said Jared. "You're seeing someone?"

"Well, no," admitted Jensen. "But I'm looking. Sort of."

"Sort of looking?" said Jared, grinning at him. "I'm not sure what that means, but it doesn't sound like something with a high success rate."

"Yeah, you're right about that," muttered Jensen. "But you only have to meet one, right?"

"True enough," said Jared, looking back at the kids. "Looks like we're just about ready to move on to the next activity, so I've gotta jet. Catch you afterwards?"

"Yeah, sure," said Jensen. "I'm pretty sure these days Tyler wouldn't have it any other way."

:::

"All right, listen," said Jeff as soon as Jensen picked up the phone, which immediately put him on edge. No good conversation had ever started that way.

"I'm listening."

Jensen's eyes were on Tyler as he spoke, just like they always were when he got the uneasy feeling that something was wrong.

"Gabe made bail," he said, without bothering to sugarcoat it. "I just figured you'd want to know."

"Sonofabitch," said Jensen, soft enough that Tyler didn't look up from his legos. "How the hell'd he do that? Most of the people in his old network want him dead these days, Jeff. Nobody's gonna be funneling him that kind of money."

"We're on it," said Jeff. "Misha thinks maybe he's got family out there somewhere, so he's chasing down that lead. It's nothing to worry about, we've got a man on him round the clock, but I figured you'd have my hide if I didn't tell you up front what was going down."

"Damn right I would've," said Jensen, forcing himself to take a couple of slow breaths. The fact that they had a man on him wasn't even to make sure Gabe didn't get himself into any trouble, but to make sure he didn't get himself killed before they could lock him up. Yeah, they wanted Gabe T to go down, and go down hard, but there was still the chance he was gonna roll on the rest of them. "All right. Is there anything else?"

"No, there's nothing else," said Jeff. "Do you want to know what we turn up?"

"Do you even need to ask?" said Jensen. "I always knew this was going to be the one case that just never let me go."

"Now don't go too far, Jensen," said Jeff. "We've got a handle on things here. This is just information, nothing more. Everything's still going down the way it ought to."

"I don't like how long this is taking," said Jensen. But then these things never did move as quickly as you wanted them to. You just had to put things to bed when you handed over control of them, and hope for the best.

A best that sometimes never came.

"If you're going to get all melodramatic about it, I'm going to stop calling," said Jeff. "Just remember that this is a courtesy. I'm well within my rights to wait till you get your ass back to Chicago before saying a damn word."

"You wouldn't do that," said Jensen, and took a deep breath and watched his son play nearby, oblivious to the conversation. "Sorry, you know this one is sticking with me. If it was just me it would be fine, but—"

"I know you've got your boy to worry about," said Jeff, "but Gabe's not going anywhere, Jensen. We'll have eyes on him right till the moment he's back behind bars."

"I know you will," said Jensen. "Listen, I need to feed the kid. Thank you for—"

"You don't need to thank me for shaking you up," said Jeff. "Just don't shoot the messenger, that's all I ask."

"No, really, thanks Jeff," said Jensen. He didn't have to tell him to call as soon as he heard anything else. He already knew that he would.

:::

"Nicki was dull, Tracy was pushy, and I think Katherine was high," said Jensen. "So we're zero for three so far. You got any other prospects?"

"I think you've lost sight of what this project is all about," said Chris. "I'm not a matchmaking service."

"Well, you're playing one on TV, then," said Jensen, "because even if I'm not planning on falling in love with someone, I still have to be able to get along with them well enough to spend our lives together."

"Picky, picky," said Chris. "Maybe you should try having a beer or two before your dates and see how that works out for you. Boring will become fascinating, pushy will become assertive and high will become...less noticeable."

"Well, I've got Padalecki coming over this Saturday," says Jensen, "but if you've got anyone else lined up for me I can fit them in after that."

"Come on, Saturday?" said Chris. "Saturday is prime dating night."

"Sorry, I've already got plans I can't break," said Jensen. Okay, plans to grill some steaks and have some beers, but that was about as unbreakable as his plans got these days. "Besides, we aren't calling these dates, right? They're more like interviews."

"I hope you aren't telling _them_ that," said Chris. Jensen, for his part, was hoping Chris was being upfront with them about just what Jensen was looking for. Maybe not the details, but if they were showing up thinking the were going to sweep the poor single father off his feet, they were sorely mistaken.

"I do still have a few social skills," said Jensen. "But hey, even if I was, they know what they're getting into, right?"

"Women still want to be wined and dined," said Chris. "If they're going to be making an effort for your family, you need to be making an effort for them."

"Hey, I'm not saying I'm not making an effort," said Jensen, "I just don't want these women to have, you know, unreasonable expectations. Suddenly I'll have Joanna 2.0 and that's just about the _last_ thing that I'm looking for, you know?"

"I'm just saying flowers aren't going to end the world," said Chris. "And a bottle of wine might lubricate the whole evening more to your satisfaction."

"I'll keep that in mind for next time," said Jensen. "I just want this to be easy, like beers with Padalecki, you know? He shows up, we crack one open and hang out and there's no stress. I have enough stress in my life. That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid."

"Maybe because he knows he's not being interviewed," said Chris. "You let me worry about finding you another date—oh, I'm sorry, _interviewee_—and you just worry about figuring out how to settle down with one."

:::

"Hi, I'm Danneel," she said, handing over a bottle of wine and a checklist. "Chris said you'd be needing these." Jensen glanced at the checklist and wasn't sure whether to laugh or be mortified. "I asked if he'd be needing blood tests too, but he said this should be enough."

"I'm gonna kill him," said Jensen, but he liked _her_ already. "Come on in. Sorry I had to cancel our reservation, but I couldn't get a sitter."

"Oh, don't worry, it's on the checklist," she said, helpfully pointing out items eleven and twelve, which were "likes kids" and "likes home cooking" respectively.

"Kids are at eleven, really?" he said as he closed the door behind her. 

"Well, the list is alphabetical," she pointed out. "I don't think Chris thought that one through entirely."

"Seriously, I'm going to kill him," he said. "Next time he tries to talk about my social skills I'm going to wave that damn checklist in his face."

"Well, how about you go about proving you have some, and I'll take your side on that."

And really, even if this didn't work out, it couldn't hurt to have allies.

:::

It was one thing to put Tyler into a summer program to keep him entertained while Jensen got the work done he needed to get done. It had actually worked out perfectly—Jensen got his days to work on the house and spend obscene amounts of time arguing with all of his father's former associates and creditors, and his evenings were free for his son. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to spend that much time with him, no matter how hard he tried to make it work.

It was another to look at the looming school year and realize that it wasn't so much a choice anymore as a responsibility. With just a few months left in Wheeler, though, he wasn't going to go through the process of getting Tyler into the state preschool program, or tested for early entry into kindergarten, just to pull him out again when they went back to Chicago. He didn't have much doubt that his son was developmentally ready, but it just wouldn't have been the right choice for him right now.

Letting him do half-days at the rec centre with the friends he'd made over the summer, though, that seemed a little kinder and a little less problematic. He worried about letting him make attachments here, but then attachments felt a little less scary when Jensen was finally feeling like he didn't need to avoid Wheeler forever anymore. After all, Tyler wasn't the only one who'd made friends here. 

It made him think, though, that it was high time he looked at what Tyler would be going back to. He didn't know what his personal situation would be by then, but professionally he would be back on the force, and Tyler would be nearly old enough to start school for real.

It was never his job to worry about those things before, but it was _all_ his job now, and for all that it made his life more difficult and more complicated, he wasn't sorry for that. 

:::

"So I haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks," Jensen was saying into Jeff's old answering machine when the phone picked up halfway through.

"No news is good news," Jeff said, punching a few shrill buttons in the background in an effort to get the machine to shut off. "All quiet on the home front, Jensen. You got a return to work date yet?"

"Not yet," said Jensen. "I should probably get in touch and start sorting that out. I've still got time, though. They don't need this much notice of return."

"What they _need_ and what they _want_ aren't necessarily the same thing," said Jeff. "You got everything sorted out down there now?"

"I guess," said Jensen. "It's weird, but I think I'm actually going to miss this place when I go. It's more like home now than it ever was when I was growing up."

"Well, some of that's on your sonofabitch father, I’m sure," said Jeff, "but some of that's on you, too. If it's more like home now, it's probably because you're making it one."

"So nothing new to report?" said Jensen, hoping the change of subject didn't seem _too_ abrupt. "Nothing at all?"

Jeff sighed. "It'll be getting more attention when we get closer to trial," he said, "and you know Misha and I are going to have it on our desks till the moment it's really closed, but...."

"But you've got other cases now," said Jensen. "No, I know. I know my case isn't your priority anymore." He was glad Jeff didn't point out that it stopped being his case when he took his leave. It was never going to stop being his case. "It just took a lot out of me."

"You had a lot going on," said Jeff. "But Gabe hasn't even breathed wrong in the past few weeks."

"You still got a detail on him."

"At all times," said Jeff. "We might've moved on to newer cases, but he's too important to lose. No attempts on his life, though."

"Well, that's a shame," muttered Jensen. "After what he did to his sister—"

"Yeah, I hear you," said Jeff, but they both knew he was better locked up than dead. Dead, they were just going to have to start this all over again.

"So I didn't interrupt you or anything, did I?" said Jensen. "You weren't busy?"

"Define 'busy'," said Jeff. "Mary Louise has got some people from work over. I should probably get back to them but, well, can't say I didn't welcome the respite."

"You've got a house full of lawyers?" said Jensen. "That makes me happy I'm out in Oklahoma and, believe me, that's saying a lot."

"Well, Oklahoma makes me glad I have a house full of lawyers, so I guess we're even," said Jeff. "Take care, Jensen. How about I call you next week rain or shine just so you don't get all antsy over there?"

"Thanks, Jeff," said Jensen, and was glad he understood.

:::

"So this Danneel person," said Jared, feet up on Jensen's coffee table and beer resting loosely on his stomach. "Is it serious?"

Jensen hesitated for a moment, but he didn't really need to think about it. "We've been out a few times," he said, "but she's not...I don't even know, to be honest. I think we've figured out that we're just friends, and she wants more than that in a partner after all."

"But you don't?"

Jensen shrugged. "That didn't work out great for me before," he said. "I'm not sure I'm all that interested in trying again."

"They why are you dating?" said Jared. "Aren't you just leading them on?"

"I'm pretty up front about what I'm looking for," insisted Jensen. "I've had my grand romance and it blew up in my face. I just want something nice and calm and stable for my kid, that's all I'm asking for."

"So, what, you've decided you're never going to fall in love again?"

"Who needs it?" said Jensen. "Isn't stuff like this better? I mean, you can't tell me you're not having a good time tonight, right?"

"Yeah, but you realize you're giving up sex, right?" said Jared. "You're giving up _sex_. Nobody in their right mind gives up sex."

"Nobody said I was giving up sex," said Jensen quickly. "You tell me you know anybody who's never had sex without love, and I'll show you a liar."

"My parents," said Jared, waggling a finger at him. "I _dare_ you to call me a liar."

"Okay, I'll give you that one," conceded Jensen, "but you know what I'm talking about. I've thought about this a lot, you know. It's not some spur of the moment decision I came to in the wake of my divorce."

"That doesn't mean I have to agree with you," said Jared. "I think you don't always get to choose that stuff. I mean, you can make all the plans you want, but sometimes you just fall in love whether you want to or not."

"But you don't have to do something about it even if you do."

"I guess," said Jared, sounding unconvinced. "I can't figure out why you wouldn't want to, though. Love is amazing. I don't know why you'd ever want to turn it down if it came knocking."

"Well, I'd give it a beer at least," said Jensen. "I have _some_ manners, after all. You just don't know what it was like, after Joanna. Everything was a mess. _Tyler_ was a mess, and I can take a lot myself but there are some burdens I don't want to put on my son again.

"You're just thinking about the bad parts," said Jared, but his fervor was fading. Jensen had the feeling he still didn't agree but he wasn't going to argue the point. "So are you, uh, only dating girls, then?"

Jensen snorted. "The dating pool in Wheeler isn't big enough that I can discreetly pick up a couple of guys," he said. "And they probably wouldn’t be into what I'm looking for anyway." He glanced at Jared, wondering if he really was as cool with it as he said he was, then added, "The sex would probably be fantastic, though."

Jared laughed. "So you _are_ going through a dry spell."

"You have _no_ idea," said Jensen. "But Tyler's always going to come first, no matter what." It wasn't a lesson he'd needed to learn, but it was a lesson he'd needed to learn how to implement.

"Well, I'm betting you can figure out a way to have both," said Jared. "Many have before you."

"Or I could just stick with my plan," said Jensen. Though it was hard to remember right now just where that plan had come from or just whose idea it had been to begin with. It looked good on paper, but the reality was turning out a little trickier than he'd imagined.

"So can I ask you something?" said Jared a few moments later, long enough that his hesitance to ask was obvious.

"Sure, I guess?"

"You left town in a real hurry, after you graduated."

"That's not a question," said Jensen, his grip tightening on his drink.

"Yeah, I know, I’m getting there," said Jared. "Was it your dad? Did he kick you out?"

"Yes," said Jensen shortly, then, "No. Yes it was my dad, but no, he didn't kick me out. He didn't need to. We never really saw eye to eye, and those rumors about me doing guys...well, they pretty much just made it worse."

"I guess I never realized how bad it got for you," admitted Jared. "I was probably just enough younger that I didn't hear or see everything."

Jensen sighed and sipped his beer to stall for a moment. "It was rough," he said. "It didn't even matter if it was true or not. The fact that it was, that just made it worse in my head. I couldn't wait to get out of here."

"Do you ever think about what it would've been like if you'd stuck around?"

"I was always going to leave," said Jensen. "It wasn't the first thing my father and I butted heads over. I was always going to leave town to go to school. No, I was always going to leave the _state_ to go to school. And after all those rumors, the fights, the rock through my window and the shunning, I just decided never to come back."

"Until now," said Jared. 

"Until now," Jensen echoed him. "My friend Chris thinks I've got this deep-seated guilt about never reconciling with my father, but I'm not sorry about that. It is what it is."

"But you needed to reconcile with the town," said Jared, which was about as astute an observation as anyone had made about the situation.

"My need to get out of Chicago and my need to sort out my father's disaster of a life somehow coincided," said Jensen. "Maybe it was a sign."

"It'd probably be crass to say I'm glad either one of those things happened," said Jared, "but I'm glad that whatever happened brought you back here."

"Yeah, me too," admitted Jensen for the first time, and clinked his bottle with Jared's before draining the last of it.

:::

"Padalecki," said Chris, raising a beer to him as he and Jensen arrived together. "Been a while."

"Kane," he said. "You still out at Hodge Motors?"

"Till the day I die," he said, and sounded like he meant it. "You remember Steve, right?"

"Carlson, sure," said Jared, shaking his hand. "I heard you play at the festival last spring. Good stuff."

"Good stuff, good stuff," said Chris, sitting the both of them down at the table. "So maybe you can help me convince J here to stop rejecting every date I send him on."

"Every date?" said Jared, motioning for a beer for himself and one for Jensen. "Really, Jensen?"

"Hey, when it's about my kid, I'm allowed to be picky," said Jensen. "And they're not dates."

"They're dates," said Chris, "and there's only one of them you said wouldn't be good for Tyler. The rest were because you had personality issues with them. A guy might start to think you didn't actually want to find the person to spend the rest of your life with through a brief and rigorous interview process."

"What happened to the Jensen who used to fall head over heels, anyway?" said Steve. "That's how I remember you."

"Well, look where that got me?" said Jensen. "Social pariah by the end of high school, and divorced before thirty."

"Well, you did get Tyler out of it," said Jared, "so at least there's that."

"There is that," Jensen grudgingly admitted. And for all the difficulty, he would've gone through a lot more to have Tyler in his life. "No regrets, just a new plan moving forward."

"A plan that sucks," said Steve.

"It was Chris's plan," protested Jensen. "I feel this is being overlooked in the heat of the moment."

"It was not a plan made in a vacuum, J," said Chris, "and it was before I realized you were going to take it so seriously. It was only supposed to get you out there meeting people."

"Well, I made a couple of friends," said Jensen. "I'm meeting Danneel for coffee some time next week, and Katie's always a good time."

"But no life-long soulmate?" said Jared. "Sounds like your plan is pretty flawed."

"Hey, come on, I need _some_one on my side," said Jensen. "I'm not looking for a soulmate, I'm looking for someone who can take care of my family while I take care of them."

"Well, then maybe that's your mistake," said Jared. "Maybe you _should_ be looking for someone to love."

"Love is overrated," said Jensen, and was met by no less than three sets of rolling eyes as he sipped his beer. "Now come on, aren't we here to watch the game and not talk about my lacking social life?"

"Can't we do both?" said Chris.

"I’m through taking your advice," said Jensen, pointing his beer at him accusingly. "When it comes to my love life, anyway."

"At least you're admitting you might one day have one," said Chris. "It's a step in the right direction."

:::

"I don't want a new mom," said Tyler bluntly, stretching out on top of the covers on Jensen's bed while Jensen was barely even awake.

"What time is it?"

"Breakfast time," said Tyler without missing a beat. "Why are you looking for a new mom?"

"What makes you think I'm looking for a new mom?" said Jensen, stalling for time so he could at least make an attempt to get his thoughts together. He fumbled his glasses off the bedside table and looked at the clock. Six-thirty in the damn morning.

"I heard you talking," said Tyler, "to Uncle Chris. I don't want you buying me a new mom. I'd rather have more toys."

"Tyler, I’m not—" Jensen said, struggling both not to laugh and not to stare at him in disbelief. "How exactly do you think someone gets a new mom?"

"It's like Uncle Chris says, right?" said Tyler. "You take them out for a—" He screwed up his face, trying to remember the right words. "—test drive. And then when you find the one you like, you buy her."

"Oh, wow, no," said Jensen, but Tyler had just summed up exactly what he was doing, and Jensen didn't even know how his life had reached quite such a fucked up point. "That's not how it works."

"Then how does it work?"

"How about we get up and I start breakfast and I tell you about it," said Jensen.

It was another stall for time, but he figured it was a legitimate one. When your four-year-old asked you how to date, it took a little thought to be able to come up with just the right kind of an answer.

"I want cereal!" said Tyler, hopping off the bed. "And pancakes! And no mom!"

Well, he was going to get one of those, anyway. "All right, I'll meet you downstairs. Do not start anything without me."

Tyler dashed off and Jensen groaned, threw an arm over his eyes for a few moments, then finally swung his legs over the side of the bed to get ready for what promised to be a momentous day.

"Where do you find moms?" Tyler asked him.

"You don't find _moms_," said Jensen. "It's not like you buy them in a supermarket or pick them out of a catalog. Moms are just people too, like you and me. And sometimes you meet people that you want to spend a lot of time with." Or someone with whom you can enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement. 

"Is Cissy going to be a mom someday?"

"Maybe," said Jensen. "Maybe not."

"What about Jenny. Is Jenny going to be a mom someday?"

"I don't know, Tyler," he said. "It's hard to know until they're grown-ups. They both might be moms someday, just like you might be a dad someday."

"But I want to know now!"

"Them's the breaks, kid," said Jensen. "Life is just full of surprises."

Jensen never expected to end up a single father, that was for sure. And he never expected to end up back in Wheeler for so much as a day, let alone this. It was nice to think he might be able to control what the future held for him, but history suggested it was really out of his hands.

:::

"Is Mr. Jared going to be there when we get there?" said Tyler, bouncing in his seat and Jensen inched forward along the highway.

"Probably, with this traffic," said Jensen. "And quit bouncing, you're going to hit your head on something."

"Like what?" said Tyler, still bouncing.

"My hand," said Jensen, holding it overtop of Tyler's head so that he smacked into it on his next bounce. "See?"

"You cheated!" he said indignantly, but Jensen only smirked.

"It's hard to cheat when there are no rules."

The highway traffic was bad heading out of town thanks to a three-car fender-bender that blocked half the road, but once they hit the turnoff for the lake it was smooth sailing right to the lot. And sure enough there Jared was, leaning against his truck with a cooler in one hand and a beach umbrella over his shoulder.

"Hi Mr. Jared!" Tyler called across the parking lot, with remarkable volume for someone his size. "Hi!"

Jared waved back, and thankfully didn't try to answer until Jensen and Tyler had grabbed their bags out of the car and reached his side. "Awesome day for a swim, huh?" he said. "Lucky for us, this late in the season."

"You're going to make dad get in the water, right?" said Tyler right away. "He _says_ he's just going to watch."

"I'll throw him in with his clothes on if I have to," Jared promised him, winking at Jensen's groan. "I think he's just pulling your leg, though. I bet he's dying to get in the water with you and see how good you are now."

"I learned how to kick my legs right," Tyler said, tugging on Jensen's hand. "And Mr. Jared _already knows that_ so you need to see it too!"

"Oh, Mr. Jared already knows that, does he?" said Jensen. "How come he gets to know before me?"

"Shhh," said Jared conspiratorially. "You weren't supposed to tell him I'm your favorite now. It was supposed to be our secret!"

Tyler giggled, and Jensen couldn't help cracking a smile too. "Or maybe it's because Mr. Jared was at your swimming lessons and I wasn't."

"We'll just let him think that, won't we?" said Jared, winking at Tyler. "Come on, I've already scoped out the best spot on the beach. Let's go before someone else takes it!"

"Come on, Dad!" said Tyler, tugging on his hand again as Jared pushed himself off the truck with his foot and started heading for the path. "Mr. Jared knows best!"

:::

"Hey listen, are you busy on Saturday?"

"Am I ever busy on Saturday when you ask?" said Jared. "No, no, I haven't got any plans."

"No hot date or anything?"

"When's the last time you heard me talking about a date, Jensen? July, maybe?"

He did have a point there; Jensen hadn't really thought about it that much. "Well, Chris has set me up with this women he knows, Lauren. Do you think you could watch Tyler?"

"Oh," said Jared. "Oh, right. Well sure, hey, me and the kid'll have a great time while you get your grown-up on. Maybe I'll even bring a couple of movies over with me."

"That'd be perfect," said Jensen, sighing with relief. If Jared said no he'd be pretty screwed, but Jared'd never said no to him before so he'd definitely had his hopes up. "Tyler's watched everything we own at least five times."

"That's because you only own about five movies," said Jared. "No wonder the kid hoards his toys, Scrooge."

"Hey, we've got lots more," said Jensen, "they're just back in Chicago. We only brought what we could fit in the car."

"I'm sure that was fine for the first month, but you've been here, what, four now? Four months is a really long time for a kid."

"Yeah, don't I know it," said Jensen, rubbing his forehead. "But he won't be any trouble, you're so great with him. He'd probably do his chores without even complaining if you were the one to ask."

"Maybe I should try that," said Jared. "Nothing like a little child labor. What do you need done? Dishes? Laundry? Maybe wax your car?"

"If you could get him to put his toys in his toybox, it'd be a miracle," said Jensen. "He likes them out where he can see them."

"That's so he can count them," said Jared. "He's got to keep an inventory after all."

"Well, then maybe he needs to learn to read and write so he can keep it on paper," said Jensen. "I guess he's just about that old, isn't he?"

"Any day now he's going to pick up War and Peace," agreed Jared. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of him while you're on your date."

"You always do."

:::

It wasn't that Jensen hadn't been keeping track of time. His life revolved around dates, trial dates, appointment dates, school dates, date dates. But he still hadn't realized just how long he'd been in Wheeler till Jared pointed it out. Four months. More than four months, really; he was edging up on five. His father's estate had been long since settled, and the renovations he was doing to the house now were more for his and Tyler's comfort than anything that actually needed doing pre-sale.

It was at the front of his mind when he met Jared for lunch while Tyler enjoyed celery and cheez whiz at pre-school.

"I figure I'll give the realtor a call next week some time," said Jensen around a mouthful of BLT.

"That close to being done already?" said Jared.

"Already?" said Jensen with a short laugh. "I've been working on that place for months. I'm nearly qualified to take up a second career as a contractor at this point."

"I know, but it doesn't feel like a long time," said Jared. "It feels like you're just starting to get settled."

"Maybe that's the problem," said Jensen. "We were never really supposed to get settled here."

"You were just hiding away from the real world in Chicago, I know," said Jared. "Still, you seem to kind of like it here. I know Tyler does."

"He misses his friends back in Chicago, too," said Jensen, but actually Tyler had never really said that. In fact, he hadn't talked about them much at all in the past couple of months. "And my leave of absence isn't indefinite. The house is nearly ready to show, so I should really start thinking about it."

"It'll be weird, not having your family live there," said Jared. "They've been there as long as I can remember. People will still probably call it the Ackles place long after you're gone."

"I feel bad for the new owners, then," said Jensen. As much as the house held a lot of bad memories for him, though, it was hard for him to imagine it in someone else's hands, too. Whatever else it was, it was still home. "So I don't supposed you'd be willing to do me another favor, would you?"

"It doesn't involve laying more tile in your bathroom, does it?" said Jared. "I think we've already established that is not the job for me."

"No, don't worry, I finished the bathroom myself," said Jensen. "I was hoping you might be able to watch Tyler again tomorrow night? I know it's short notice, but my date's pretty short notice too."

"Sure," said Jared. "It's not like I'm doing anything else, right?"

"You're a life saver," said Jensen. "Lunch is on me."

"You're damn right lunch is on you," said Jared, grinning at him suddenly, and Jensen knew that he was going to order another drink and some dessert now, but that was fine. It was worth it.

:::

"That was weird," said Jensen, staring at his phone like it could explain.

"What, answering your phone in the middle of dinner?"

"I didn't actually answer," said Jensen, which wasn't the point to her, and was exactly the point to him. His phone had rung exactly twice, but while he was still pulling it out of his jeans, it stopped. And the name on the call display was Jared Padalecki. "I just need a second here."

She didn't look particularly impressed, but Jensen didn't particularly care. If she didn't understand that having a kid meant answering your phone in restaurants, she wasn't who he was looking for anyway. When he called Jared back, though, the call went straight to voicemail.

"He's not picking up," he said, trying twice more.

"His battery probably died," she said. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"Probably," said Jensen. He tried the house phone too, but it rang busy. "But I think maybe I need to go."

"Now?" she said. "But we've only had appetizers."

"You're right, it's probably nothing," he said, "but I'm not going to enjoy this until I know for sure. You stay, though. I'll cover the bill on the way out."

"You might as well go," she said. "You've been talking about him all evening anyway."

She enjoyed a very nice bottle of wine on his dime, and Jensen cancelled his dinner order and headed back across town. Jared was probably going to laugh at him. _Tyler_ was probably going to laugh at him. But he could man up and take it, if it meant putting his mind at ease.

He knew something was actually wrong the moment he turned the corner onto his street. He couldn't even pinpoint why at first, but he'd learned to trust his instincts, and if his instincts said that something was wrong then he was going to listen. Even just an unfamiliar car, picked up by his subconscious, could let him know that something was going on.

When he reached his house the front door was open—forcibly—and all of the lights were out.

He'd never had to use it before, but Jensen'd had the Wheeler police department on speed dial since he arrived in town.

"There's an intruder at sixteen-eleven Hill Street," he said without preamble, "and there's a child in the house."

"Are you inside the house, sir?"

"No, I'm outside, and it's my house," he said. "Just get someone here."

"Patrol cars are on the way," she said. "Can I get you to stay on the line—"

"No, you can't," he said. "I'm going in." 

He flipped his phone abruptly shut and turned it off, shoving it in his pocket and heading for the door. The lock had definitely been forced, and Jensen pushed it open the rest of the way with his shoe but there was no sign of anyone on the other side of it.

He kept the gun safe in the hall closet right by the door, and even though he was an expert at getting into it he didn't think he'd ever done it quite as fast as he did in that moment, retrieving both gun and then ammo from higher up and arming himself against whoever was inside.

The living room was clear but the television was still on, nightly sports recap turned on low. Jared should have been in here watching it after tucking Tyler into bed but he was nowhere to be seen. There were no signs of a struggle here, though, or in the hallway, or in the kitchen, and nothing looked out of place. Nothing had been touched or stolen. 

He very carefully and quietly headed up the stairs and straight to Tyler's room. The door was open a crack, and this time when he pushed it open with his foot he caught sight of a figure on the other side, a figure much too tall to be Tyler. It might've been Jared, but if anyone would understand why Jensen had a gun on him, it was probably Jared.

He raised his weapon and slammed on the light, and it was suddenly clear that was definitely not Jared.

"Who the hell are you?" he said, his gun never wavering. "And what the hell are you doing in my house?"

Tyler wasn't in his bed, and this wasn't just a home invasion.

The man smirked at him, his own weapon raised almost casually. "You think you'll put my little brother away for life? _My_ brother?"

"You're Gabe's brother," said Jensen, putting two and two together like it really was just a simple arithmetic problem. 

"Eli," he introduced himself. "Thanks for catching up."

Jeff hadn't been wrong about the family money connection after all, they'd just never pinned him down. 

"Do you even _know_ what he did to your little sister? The way he made her cart drugs around in her lunchbox? In her _dress_?"

"Little bitch isn't _my_ sister," he said. "She came from that whore my father shacked up with after my mama died."

"Oh, so you don't care about little kids, then," said Jensen. "That's classy."

"You mean like that sweet little boy of yours?" he said. "Thinking he was all safe, tucked into his bed like that?"

"What did you do to him?"

"It seems like a fair trade to me," he said. "You take my brother, I take your son. Let's just call it even."

Jensen's finger twitched on the trigger. "_Where is he? What did you do to him?_"

"Drop the charges against my brother, then maybe we can talk," he said. "Unless you don't care about little kids either."

Jensen's hands had never shaken like they were shaking right now. He knew if he had to take the shot he would be rock steady when it mattered, but this filth had his _son_ and there was nothing more terrifying in the world. Finally, after a few long, agonizing moments, he lowered his weapon.

But it made no difference. The moment he did he heard the familiar creak of the stairs and then there was someone behind him.

"Wheeler police, drop your weapon."

The order wasn't directed at him, but Jensen answered her anyway. "No," he said. "No, please, he's got my son."

"Your son's outside with the other officers, Detective Ackles," she said. "He's already safe."

"What?" said Jensen, never taking his eyes off Eli. While Jensen knew he had to look shocked, Eli looked shocked and _angry_. "You never had him?"

"The brat was already gone when I got here," he spat, "and you got home two hours before you were supposed to."

"How...?" Jensen was saying when he felt a hand on his arm.

"We'll take it from here, detective," she said. "Go find your son."

Jensen paused only long enough to make sure they did have the situation in hand, then turned and tucked his gun against the small of his back and raced back down the stairs and out into the front yard.

And there stood Jared, looking a little shaken but solid, holding Tyler against his chest. Jensen didn't even stop to look at anyone else as he ran from the front door right to Jared's side.

"I knew you'd come," said Jared. "I knew you'd come when you got the call."

"That was on purpose?"

"We couldn't make any noise," said Jared. "I knew you'd know something was wrong. I knew you'd come."

"I did," said Jensen wonderingly, reaching out to take Tyler. Jared untangled Tyler's arms from around his neck and passed him over. "I ditched Genevieve at the restaurant."

"You were too good for her anyway," said Jared. "There you go, Tyler, it's all okay now."

Tyler was already clutching Jensen around his neck so tightly he might've cut off his air if he was a little bigger and a little stronger. "How did you get away?"

"Mr. Jared took me out the window," said Tyler, his voice muffled against Jensen's shoulder. "He said someone was coming and we needed to go before he got there."

"We made it to the neighbors," said Jared. "I tried to call again when we were safe, but you weren't answering. Then I called the cops and they said they were already on the way."

"Thank God you're safe," said Jensen, holding him close. "Thank God you're both safe."

"I saw him from your bedroom window," said Jared. "God, it was only chance I saw him, if I'd been anywhere else at that moment I wouldn't have seen him coming until it was too late."

Jensen didn't want to think about just how close it had been, and he had no idea where to even begin to thank Jared.

"Mr. Padalecki?" they were interrupted by one of the officers. "We're ready to take your statement now."

"Of course," said Jared, and kissed the top of Tyler's head and followed the officer back to the patrol cars.

Then it was Tyler's turn to answer some questions, never leaving the safety of his father's arms, then Jensen's. And when they were finally free to reunite with Jared, Jensen looked around to find he was already gone.

:::

After Jensen made a call to the Chicago PD to brief them on the situation, he and Tyler spent the night in a hotel again. The local police weren't going to clear their house of the crime scene tape in less than a day, and all Jensen wanted to do was try to get Tyler to get some sleep, even if he knew he wouldn't be getting any himself. 

He pulled Tyler out of pre-school for the week, for obvious reasons, and for the first day all he and Tyler did was hang out with each other, watch TV and play with Tyler's cars. But by late afternoon on the second day, Tyler had asked about Mr. Jared so many times that Jensen finally just headed straight to the rec center after checking out of the hotel. It was something he'd been wanting to do anyway.

Jared jogged over to the sidelines as soon as he saw them arrive, leaving Alona in charge of the group.

"Hey," he said. "Hey. You guys are looking good."

"You too," said Jensen, while Tyler tugged urgently on his hand. "Well, go ahead then, it's your idea."

"We're gonna be back in our house today," Tyler told him, very solemnly, "and I think you should come." Jensen looked up and met Jared's eyes and silently tried to tell him what Tyler wouldn't: that he thought Tyler might feel a little safer going back inside with Jared there too.

"How about I come with you right now?" said Jared, just as solemnly.

"You can do that?"

"That's the beauty of being the boss," said Jared. "Well, assistant boss. I just need to tell Alona I'm going and then I'm set."

"Thank you," said Jensen. "We'll meet you at the house?"

Jared gave them a mock salute before jogging back to the field, and true to his word he arrived at the house just a few minutes after Jensen and Tyler did. At Tyler's insistence, they were waiting out on the steps for him.

"All right, kiddo, let's head back inside," said Jared, and took Tyler's offered hand as Jensen pushed a new key into the new lock and opened the door.

Once he was across the threshold he seemed fine. In fact, once he was inside he dragged Jared up to his room and Jensen could hear them playing racecars on the wooden floor. It was Jensen who was more apprehensive, Jensen who checked every door and every window, Jensen who went outside to mentally map the route Jared and his son had taken to escape the house.

He was on his second drink when Jared came back downstairs.

"Tyler's napping," he said. "I think I wore him right out."

It meant a lot that Tyler was able to fall asleep in his own bed, and Jensen figured Jared knew that as well as he did.

"He's had a hell of a couple of days," said Jensen. "And so have you. Thank you, Jared."

"I did what anyone would have done," insisted Jared.

"No, you didn't," said Jensen. "So many people would have freaked out, would have missed the signs, wouldn't have put Tyler first, but you did, Jared. You did. And I don't even know how to begin to thank you—"

"You don't need to thank me," Jared interrupted him. "I love him. I love _you_, you idiot. I didn't have to think twice about doing it."

"Oh," said Jensen, or at least his mouth formed the word but he didn't think any sound actually came out.

Because he _was_ an idiot. He was so, so stupid and he never realized what was right in front of him until it was smacking him in the face. All those decisions, all those futile dates, and what both he and Tyler really needed was right there all along.

"It doesn't have to be a thing," Jared when on when Jensen didn't. "But you need to know that Tyler will always be safe with me.

"I am so stupid," said Jensen, and put down his beer and just kissed him before Jared could react or pull away. "I mean, it's _Wheeler_, and you never said you were...and I didn't even look for the signs."

"Well that's a comfort," said Jared. "I was starting to think you just weren't into me. I mean, not that the constant dates with women weren't a pretty good sign already."

"So stupid," Jensen said again. "Are you sure you're in love with someone so stupid?"

"Well, like I told you," said Jared. "I don't think we get to plan these things."

"As much as I tried," said Jensen, grabbing his shirt and kissing him again. "Fucking love. Don't be another Joanna, all right?"

"Never going to happen," said Jared, but when Jensen tried for yet another kiss, Jared stopped him. "Tyler."

"Is sleeping," said Jensen. "You said he's sleeping."

"He is sleeping," said Jared, "but believe me, he is not going to be sleeping long enough for everything I want to do to you right now."

He was so, so stupid, and Jensen was definitely going to spend the next little while making up for that. "Hold that thought," he said, and dug out his phone, dialing a number from memory.

"Chris?" said Jensen, glancing up at the clock and already feeling a little breathless. "What are the chances you can pick Tyler up and watch him tonight?"

When he told Tyler that he wanted some grown-up time with Jared, he was pretty sure Tyler was going to understand. In fact, he was pretty sure Tyler understood even before he did.

"_Now_, J? I was going to see if Beth wanted to do anything."

"Chicks dig guys with kids," Jensen told him. "I give you this secret freely, and without ulterior motive."

"If you're actually getting laid, you can just tell me," said Chris. "Are you actually getting laid?"

"I am actually getting laid," said Jensen. "How soon can you be here?"

"Ten minutes," said Chris. "But you're springing for pizza and beer."

"Pizza and coke," said Jensen.

"Deal," said Chris. "Say hi to Jared for me."

"Wait, how did you—?"

"Not all of us are as dumb as you, J," said Chris. "Get Tyler's things together and I'll meet you at the front door. Try to keep your pants on till then."

:::

For all that Jared had helped Tyler settle into the house again, Tyler still seemed pretty happy to be going somewhere else for the evening, and Jensen figured it was inevitably going to be that way for a while. Baby steps, Jensen told himself. Just like letting Tyler out of his sight for a couple of hours was a baby step too. Tyler gave both Jensen and Jared a big, smacking kiss on the cheek before going to play with Uncle Chris for a little while, though, and that made everything just a little bit easier.

"Come on," said Jensen after watching them drive away, but when he looked at the stairs he felt a jolt of apprehension, a memory of just what he'd been feeling the last time he'd gone up them.

"No, you come on," said Jared, kissing the back of Jensen's neck and wrapping an arm around Jensen's waist. "I think Tyler's not the only one who needs to feel comfortable in his own home again."

"I'm okay," said Jensen, but it was easier going up those stairs with Jared's hand at the small of his back, and it was easier leading the way into his own bedroom after Jared let him check Tyler's first.

The moment Jared's hand slipped up under his shirt, though, all the heat from their earlier kisses came back to him, and secure in the knowledge that Tyler was safe with Chris, that Chris's phone was on and his phone was on and Jared's phone was on and the house phone was on the hook, he could let Jared pull his shirt right off, leaving it on the floor next to the bed.

"You have no idea how long I've been thinking about this," said Jared against his ear, setting to work on his jeans, too.

Jensen didn't, he had no idea, and suddenly he wondered. Was it days? Weeks? Had Jared been wanting him from the moment they first ran into one another at the rec center and Jensen had been too burnt by his past relationship to realize it? It was a lot of lost time to make up for, and suddenly Jensen was determined to try.

"Sorry it took me so long," he said, groping at Jared's clothes too, mutual nakedness a definite goal. "Sorry I had my head up my ass."

"You had some things to work through before you could get here," said Jared as Jensen's jeans dropped, as Jared pulled off his own shirt. "I get that."

"No, really," said Jensen, yanking Jared's pants and shorts down. "I was an idiot. It's okay to say so."

"You were an idiot," said Jared obediently, kicking off his remaining clothes. "Now get on the bed before I have to work that one out for you too."

That, despite how long it might have been, was not something Jensen ever needed help working out. He already felt hot all over just _looking_ at Jared, and realized that he'd been feeling warm around him for so long, comfortable and trusting and everything else too without being able to admit to himself what it was. He was so much more than ready for this.

"Will you judge me if I skimp on the foreplay?" said Jared, crawling right overtop of Jensen, straddling him on his knees. "I promise to make it up to you later."

"I'll only judge you if you aren't fucking me in the next ten minutes," said Jensen, nudging at Jared with his knee. "If you want it the other way, you're gonna have to get your heavy ass off me."

"Believe me, I'm not going to ever say no to fucking you," said Jared, running his large hands down Jensen's body right from throat to waist before shifting himself in between Jensen's legs instead of overtop of them. Jensen was just grateful he hadn't given up hope entirely and still kept condoms around.

"Here," he said, grabbing a pair of them and his half-empty tube of lubricant blindly.

"Two?" said Jared, even as he tore them apart and dropped one to the floor next to them. "You aim high."

"Four would be high," said Jensen. "Two is just what we've earned."

Jared didn't seem to have any argument with that, the way his hand slid between Jensen's legs, thumb rubbing against the base of his cock and two fingers pressing inside him.

"Fuck," said Jensen, hand curling around his cock and stroking it loosely, just to take the edge off. It didn't work. "Next time I get to blow you before we do this."

"I don't care of you just said that in the heat of the moment, I'm so holding you to it," said Jared, thrusting with two fingers, smooth and steady, until Jensen loosened up enough for three. He didn't insert a third, though, instead pulling his hand away to stroke his own cock for a moment, fast and fierce.

"Hell, fuck me now and I'll throw in a rimjob," said Jensen, lifting one knee and making room for him. Jared fumbled the condom as he said it, but managed to roll it on smoothly and very, very fast after that. "I've got a whole damn box of condoms here and I know how to use them."

Jensen tried to watch as Jared shifted again, grabbed hold of Jensen's knee and began to push inside him, but within moments he was letting his head fall back and letting Jared manipulate his body in just the right way to be able to slide all the way in. It had been a while since Jensen had been fucked, most of the time it just wasn't worth the time and trouble, so he could feel every bit of the stretch of his body, and had almost forgotten what it felt like when someone's cock pressed against his prostate.

"Fuck," he said again, lifting his other leg and letting his heel press against Jared's perfect ass. "I'm so stupid, so stupid."

"But getting smarter by the second," said Jared, shoving the rest of the way in and leaning in to suck at Jensen's neck, shutting him up completely.

He didn't even _think_ much after that, letting go and losing himself in this moment with no intrusions. Feeling safe enough to just _enjoy_ this. Jensen was strong and athletic, thanks to the demands of his job, but Jared was even more so, and it was the first time in a long time that he felt like he could push back just as hard as he was being pushed.

Jared's fingers sank into his skin and he started thrusting hard and fast, and his mouth was close enough to Jensen's ear that Jensen could hear his breaths coming quicker and harder.

"Jerk me," he murmured, pressing into Jared's body even harder with what leverage he had available to him. "I'm almost there."

Jared's free hand was on him almost immediately, the other holding Jensen's leg, and God, he wasn't kidding when he said he was almost there. A few strokes of Jared's large, strong hand and Jensen was coming all over both of them.

It was Jared's turn to lose a little control them, his thrusts stuttering for a moment before he grabbed Jensen's shoulder and pushed into him hard and fast until he came with a choked moan, pressing his sweaty forehead against Jensen's shoulder.

"Fuck," Jared murmured, letting go a moment later and wiping his sticky fingers against the bedspread. "Thank God it wasn't just me."

"It was never just you," said Jensen, and even if he'd taken forever to see it, it was the absolute truth.

:::

Jensen hadn't made any actual promises to Jared, but after everything they did, he figured there were some things that were just implied. Like that this thing they had, whatever it was, wasn't just for one night.

"They've taken Gabe back into custody," he told Jared as he waited to pick Tyler up from pre-school. "For his part in an attempted kidnapping." The charges might've been a lot more damning if Jared hadn't gotten Tyler out of the house in time, but Jensen would never be sorry that he had.

"Do you need to get back, then, to take care of that?"

Jensen shook his head. "No, Jeff and Misha are all over it," he said. "I'll need to go back to testify, but that won't be for ages now. A lot of guys are grateful to have an excuse to put him back behind bars. I know _I_ feel a whole hell of a lot safer now."

"Yeah, I bet," said Jared. The way his eyes skirted away, the way his posture changed for just a moment, Jensen bet he was feeling a bit safer too.

"You doing okay?"

Jared smiled at him. "I think we took care of any residual shakes the other night," he said. "It was freaky for me, but it had to be way worse for you guys."

"Tyler's rebounding fast," said Jensen. It was Jensen who'd probably been shaken hardest by it, by the new reality that criminals really would come for his family. "And as for me, well, I spent the morning measuring the basement for drywall."

"Be a shame to sell the place now," said Jared after a long pause, "after all the work you put into it. Just a thought."

"Tyler likes it," Jensen conceded. "I have a sinking feeling he's going to grow up to be an interior decorator, once he discovers that toy baron isn't a real job."

"Hey, don't knock it, decorators make good money," said Jared.

"I still have a job in Chicago," said Jensen, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. "They're expecting me back. But how the hell can I bring Tyler back to that again, after everything?"

"Wheeler needs cops too," said Jared. "You know, just another thought."

That had never been the plan. Wheeler had been a temporary yet necessary stop in the course of his life; it was never supposed to be more than that. But the longer he was here, the more it felt like he really had come home.

"Could look into that," he said finally. "If I thought I had a really good reason to stay."

"I think Tyler's probably your number one reason," said Jared, slipping a hand discreetly into Jensen's back pocket, "but if you need another, I don't think I'll have any trouble giving you one."

It felt right, in a way that nothing and no one had felt right in a long time. "Maybe I'll give them a call in the morning, see what my options are."

"Maybe you should do that," said Jared, and Jensen couldn't mistake the hope in that smile. "Come on, they're finishing up, let's get Tyler home."

Jensen could get used to Jared calling his place home, and maybe he'd have to look into that too.


End file.
